Hours spent in vehicle driving from place to place: 32.5

Number of days over which travel occured: 4

Average Hours per day: 8.125

Number of deer consumed: .5

Number of pigs: .25

Number of turkeys that normally would have been consumed but lived to fight another day this year: 1

Number of holiday skits watched: 1

Subject of holiday skit: Santa is lazy and Rudolph the long-nosed reindeer must convince him that it’s worth it to get off his ass and bring Christmas.Number of holiday songs sung: ~5

Number of dogs in insta-pack at relative’s home once everyone had brought theirs: 4

Number of cats: 1

Weight of cat: freakin’ huge

Chances cat had: 0 (…but he made it to the cellar and wasn’t seen again)

Number of days without net access: 4

Number of days before becoming anxious about lack of access: .5

Unhealthiness of this fact: currently being avoided

Number of days after holiday travel that move to new home began: .5

Number of days after holiday travel before returning to work: 1.5

Completeness of move to new home: maybe 15%

Number of gifts given: lots

Number of gifts received: plenty

Number of times the word “love” used: many. We like each other.

Number of days until next holiday season starts: ~350

Number of days until ready for next holiday season: are we ever really ready?